The Challenger #8

Recently, I’ve been watching the sitcom called “One on One.” The show is about a man named Flex Washington who becomes a full-time father over the character named Breanna, after her mom took a full-time job in anther country. Breanna obtains 2 best friends, while living with her father, named Spirit and Arnaz. In one episode of One on One, Spirit falls for this jock in high school who was only focused on sleeping with her. Breanna and Arnaz becomes concerned once they found out the jock’s intentions and brings the news to Spirit. However, Spirit became defensive, insulted her friends and proceeded to hang out with the jock. Her friends could have given up, but instead, they pursued her despite her sinful actions to help save her.

Let’s stop right here, how many of us, have some friends who will tell you the truth about yourself or maybe you are that type of friend. I call that type of friend, the challenger. In this case, Breanna was known to be the challenger because she was the one initiating for her and Arnaz to tell Spirit as soon as possible and help her. She sought to confront the issue despite the potential risk of losing the friendship because she loved her. This show has so much nostalgic feelings for me. I enjoy watching shows with deeper meaning to it and One On One is definitely that type of show. Plus, the characters are so relatable.

I bring this up because I’m a lot like Breanna. Anything I see wrong, I step to it and challenge it. I am the challenger, aka #8. In case you’re unfamiliar with what the challenger #8 is, I’m referring to the Enneagram. The challenger is the number 8 and are labeled as self-confident, strong, confrontational and assertive. The word confrontational was hard to hear, but true. For the longest, I felt insecure for having that quality because I was always the one to bring that hard thing up and sometimes it cost me some disappointment and pain. The world shapes confrontational thing as some bad thing when in reality Jesus himself was confrontational (Ex. lady at the well). It was not until I was able to seek the Lord that I realize there is goodness to be found in this type of quality. Confrontational means someone willing and able to confront problems or situations and not avoid them. There are pros and cons to that just like any other number on the Enneagram or quality in general.

Last year and a bit of 2020, I was blaming myself on and off and doubting the gifts God placed inside of me of being a challenger. I did this because …some outcomes didn’t quite go in my favor. Friends were lost because of something I felt led by the Holy Spirit to say. And I had to be honest with God, if I would’ve known that’ll be the outcome, I would have probably avoided saying it. I hate hurting people but what I’m learning is that telling my truth or God’s truth will sometimes cost me along the way. However, it’s always worth being obedient to God despite any world cost because ultimately I should fear God and not man.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (John 15:18)

I’ve came to realize that, not everyone can receive my boldness and bravery and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean I stop being bold and brave in saying or doing things God calls me to do. However, I should always be intentional on how I do it, considering timing, if it’s my place to say it at all, and sharing it with grace, love, and truth.

Jeremiah (from the Bible) was a prophet God used to address His people, and not all of them was good at receiving news about themselves, partially because they’ve had their minds made up being accustomed to sin. Although Jeremiah was rejected by some, it didn’t stop him from relaying God’s message. He was faithful and it reminded me to be faithful and loyal to God over people.

It gets tempting to give up sometimes on sharing, teaching, following and preaching God’s word because someone rejected you or got defensive and insulted you. But, you can’t stop there. It may hurt to be rejected, trust me, I’ve been there, even Jesus himself has. I’m still working through some of that hurt; but your obedience to God may not always be validated by others and you’re still called to be obedient. Let go of validation of man and welcome validation from your Heavenly Father. His validation and word ought to be enough for you to stand on. It’ll be a hard life if I based my obedience off of the results. It was clear to me that God’s idea was faithfulness and obedience and not centered around the outcome.

So, for my challengers, aka number 8’s, don’t be dismayed for being confrontational. Instead, seek God on cultivating that quality to be able to relay and season all your messages with love, grace, and truth. You cannot control the outcome and only can control you. Every hard conversation I had with people I always try to evaluate my intentions and purpose to make sure I’m coming with a pure and loving heart. That’s all I can do. So don’t stop challenging your friends, speaking up for the voiceless, or confronting injustice. But, when you do, seek God for wisdom and understanding to direct your paths in the process and trust Him with all of you. He will not fail you, keep being faithful.